Nowadays, there seems to be a constant battle between modesty and immodesty. The media industry does a lot to propel this phenomenon. It seems like you can't even walk down the street without seeing a woman who is wearing a shirt down to
here and a skirt up to
there (if she even has that!) In the words of The Jonas Brothers' hit song
Love Bug, modesty is just so hard to find. This oppressing situation causes many girls to get discouraged because they feel like they can't meet the expectations the world has set for them... or they just don't want to. Sometimes, girls willing to show more than they ought to even somewhat demean girls who don't feeling as though they have some sort of power over them. Girls are mean and society is too. That is why the Dove company started their Campaign for Real Beauty. Their website has a tab linking to a Self-Esteem Toolkit and 1 on 1 activities for encouraging girls to see the beauty inside of them despite what media hurdles at them. It's an excellent idea, but here's the crazy part: it's targeted at girls ages 8-12... Whoa. Why girls ages 8-12 need to even concern themselves with this I will never understand!
I can remember as early as the end of my FOURTH GRADE year when my fellow classmates started wearing full-on make up and dying their hair. Why? To attract boys and show themselves off to other girls. (I was reading books to get my AR points and playing with my Barbie Talking Town House. I was clearly clueless... Clueless and happy.) Thanks goes to my wonderful mother for letting me continue to have a childhood. I unabashedly played on Build-a-Bear's bearville well through middle school and it was AWESOME! I guess it's safe to say that I wasn't hurdled into premature maturity like some girls unfortunately are. That being said, I never really saw the allure of showing myself off to everyone whereas some of my dearest friends did. In the words of Robert Frost, "Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, and I- I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference." I spent much of high school quietly observing many things and here are the things I've found to be true about choosing to be modest, perhaps you'll find some of them worth agreeing with:
Modesty Makes People Take You Seriously.
My first job was at my local Chamber of Commerce. I worked the front desk and gave visitors information about my hometown (among various other things.) I found that most people didn't realize I was in high school because I didn't dress like I was. This was overwhelmingly obvious at various different events throughout my four years in high school. Take awards ceremonies for instance. If you're going to get up on a stage in a dress that comes up mid-thigh just keep in mind that everyone can see up it. Especially if you insist on wearing your 5 inch club heels. My tip: wear something that looks professional to such events and for crying out loud cover your assets! Slap on a pair of pearls and BAM! You just became the most mature-looking person in the room! (Side tip: there will always be that one hardly-dressed girl people are talking about in a bad way any time the event is recalled. If you just accept modest clothing, you'll never be that girl.)
Modesty is Liberating!
My cousin Mandy is the perfect Southern mama and a wonderful photographer. When she took this picture, she initially posed me and then said, "Your dress comes back too far now!" "No problem!" I said, and pulled my skirt extender down farther. (Skirt extenders are wonderful things. We'll talk more about those in another post.) This picture would be utterly horrifying in a media-approved length dress. When everything is covered, you a free to move! When your clothes aren't too tight, you can breathe! My Tip: wear things that cover you and don't squeeze you like a tick. Now you are free! Run through the fields! Pick up your pencil when it falls! Don't spend all night pulling your dress up! Life is fantastic! It's spectacular! Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, Zip-a-dee-day!
Modesty Encourages Creativity.
Take formal events for example. Sure, any girl can find a dress that's cut out in all the wrong places with strategically-placed jewels and a slit that does from here to Kalamazoo. Looking cute and modest at these events takes a little more creativity. (Also, modest dresses are generally cheaper! This one was only about $80!) You get to pick fun accessories and you still look great! My tip: Find something that's cute and covering then dress it up with eye-catching details to fit your fancy. In the end, you still look gorgeous and you are free to dance the night away free from the fear of embarrassing wardrobe malfunctions. (I've seen some terrifying things...) Extra bonus! See that handsome guy with me? He's amazing. He's like a dream come true. When you dress modestly, people see the you behind the clothing. They fall in love with your heart and soul instead of other things. (People like that don't have wandering eyes, either.) It's a pretty awesome thing and it makes for a really great relationship, in my opinion!
Modesty Keeps You Warm in Winter.
What? Seriously? Who knew?!? Observe the frigid city of New York in Winter. Observe the people ice skating outside of Rockefeller Center. Observe cute and happy me not about to die of hypothermia. Keep yourself actually covered up during the cold months and you won't constantly be shivering. My tip: Wear thick tights under dresses with boots in winter. It's awesome. Sweater dresses that are cleverly banded at your rear end and Ugg boots will not save you from frost bite! Further more, leggings aren't pants. Jeggings aren't pants. Please just do everyone a favor and wear these articles of clothing under reasonable length skirts and dresses rather than an over sized t shirt! And on the opposite end...
Modesty Leaves Less Skin to be Burnt in Summer!
Ahh, Disney World! Nothing can match your magic! Orlando is hot. In the summer, Orlando is REALLY hot. Hot and muggy. Sure, it's tempting to go for a tank top and shortie-short shorts. Keep in mind, however, how much time your spending with so much skin exposed and how easily you can get burnt in that vulnerable situation! Even if you tan instead instead of burning, you can still get skin cancer. (Don't even get me started on looking like a leather couch when you age!) My tip: during summer, go for reasonably-length shorts and cute tops. Looser ones are especially good because they help keep you cool whereas tank tops just stick to you when you get all hot and sweaty. Yuck! Side note: See Gaston behind us? He was the most alluring (albeit arrogant) man in the village, and who did he want? Belle the exceptionally beautiful, smart, modest, headstrong bookworm who was different than every other girl. The air-headed, immodest girls in Belle's village? He wasn't interested in them; he just used them.
Modesty Keeps You From Being That Person.
Pretty much every girl has been on a trip where this ultimatum has been given: one piece or t shirt. This one is pretty self explanatory. My tip: just buy a cute one piece in the first place. Media will try to convince you that cute one pieces don't exist, but trust me. They do. This way you don't have to buy a one piece just for a trip and waste your money. Even better, you won't be the dorky-looking person with the t-shirt bubbling up with water all the time. (We've all seen them. You know it happens.)
The Most Convincing Reason of All (in My Opinion):
Modesty is just courteous. I mean honestly, who wants to lead someone astray? Who wants to cause hurt feelings in your boyfriend or husband because other guys stare at things no one should be staring at? Who really wants to be nothing more than an object? Who wants to get stared at by a creepy person? I don't think anyone in their right mind wants any of that. Modesty is also just respectful to yourself. You are more than appearance. Encourage people to know you and not just see you. You'll notice that you not only look great, you feel great! All of this being said, my first approach to fashion is always modesty. For me, there's no other way to go.
